My Useless Self

Wowsers - it has been a while. If I'm totally honest your humble narrator has been in no mood (nor state) to read, digest and comment recently. But today, heck, I'm back baby! It's been a day of really inspirational people picking me up, dusting me off and reminding me of a few home truths.

So lets see if the J-man has something inspirational to top the day off huh? We left our star sat a top a mountain with his mates with a brand new interpretation of some over-quoted scripture rattling round their heads. Better let the big man get back to the lesson.

Boy and Girls, turn your leather bounds to Matthew 5. Jesus is about to go on a rant about a whole (english) tonne of stuff. I'm not gonna go into all of it, just pick some bits out. He has some pretty high standards this Jesus fellow. Let's take his points on Murder. I dunno about you but I find murder quite tempting sometimes, I have a t-shirt that reads "some people are only alive because it's against the law to kill them", and sadly the sentiment isn't as far from the truth as you might hope! There are some terrible, frustratingly awful people about - just ask the Texan's, they go ahead and get rid of them. Whether seriously or not I'm sure most people have thought about what life would be like without someone in it. However to say that one should not murder another seems like a pretty sensible teaching.

But Jesus has to go one further. "I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment " (Matt 5:22). Woa - woa woa woa (sweet child of mine) - that's a pretty big ask. Not only can I not kill this terrible person but I can't even be angry? Or I can be angry but I'll have to be sorry for being so? I'm gonna find that pretty hard mate, wanna soften the blow a little? No. Apparently not. But Big J does go on to explain that this is as much to prevent you finding yourself in court as much as it is about anything spiritual (Matt 5:25-26). Maybe he was lookin out for those Texan judges who just can't resist. Still, I find it a bit strange that he brings up the legal system, he has no respect for the Pharisees, who by my (lack of) understanding were pretty involved in the whole legal system, religion and law being ever intertwined. So why bring it up? Was the thought of the gnashing teeth not enough to put the fear up the followers?

Adultery. This has been rattling around my head for quite a while. What on earth does he mean?! Here's the sentence I'm referring to: " If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell." (Matt 5:29). He repeats the sentiment with the humble hand in the next line. So over looking the obvious 'maybe it's literal' - because that would be maaaaaaad - I struggle to read between the lines on on this one. If one part of you causes you to do something bad, disassociate yourself from it? If a gangster coats your feet in concrete and throws you in a lake, saw off your feet so you don't drown? Was Jesus preempting the Saw movie franchise?

I doubt it.

The only way I can read it that seems even slightly logical is to think that maybe he means that if you can't help but lust (that's the context of the sentence if you aren't familiar), then you should cut that person out of your life. If you just dont care what that hot girl from accounts' name is, if you couldn't give two hoots what that hunky fella's degree is in, then gouge them out of your life. Save the rest of your life by losing just that bit. If that IS what he is saying then wow, great advice it may be and I am strong enough? To cut ties with anyone I've found attractive? Maybe my interpretation of lust is different. Lets hope so.

Break through. Something Jesus and I agree on whole heartedly. Do not swear. No not bloody swear words. Don't swear by anything, let your word be your word and build a reputation by it. Wise word's champ.

Is it rude to call the Messiah 'champ'? Sure he'll get over it.

Now we get to one of the biggest thought provokers so far. I love this one. Love thy neighbour, but also love your enemy. What I love about this is that you hear it all the time, and most people (me included) think it's a ridiculous thing to say and when you ask the person who said it why on earth it's a good idea they will fob you off with some rubbish explanation like "We are all god's children, therefore we should love each other" that usually gets the response "well, i'll love these ones, you love those one's and we're all happy". But if these people who said it to me a) knew me and b) had actually read the passage, then they would know that there is a much better way to make me try it. I hate to shy away from a challenge, I don't much like being lowered to anyone's level, I like to think that I'm pretty good at most things, and if I'm not I usually will strive to at least hit the average mark.

Jesus says "If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?" (Matt 5:46-47).

That's it, point made - count me in! There really is nothing impressive, nothing to be proud of in loving people who are just like you. Where's the challenge? Across a 2000 year gap Jesus just threw a gauntlet at my feet (they hadn't even invented gauntlets yet!) and whether he knew it or not I'm not walking away from it. Today I helped a drunk Scotsman to order a taxi because the 'Pakis' (his word) couldn't understand his thick slurring Glaswegian. I did also point out (nicely) that it was as much his attitude and his drinking as their lineage that was causing most of the problem. Now you might think that a drunken Scot is not a massive venture from myself, but he certainly wasn't the sort of people I would usually stick around to chat to on the way to work. Small steps. Consider the challenge accepted.

I also love that Matty Boy the Tax Collector heard this slur on a blatant stereotyping of his career choice and instead of debating it, or indeed getting angry, he wrote it down for the world to read. Good boy!

In 5:14-16 Matt tells us of how Jesus sees people as like candles. You wouldn't light a candle just to hide it away - you make the most of it's power to illuminate by raising it high. Makes you think of the good Christians who are happy to sit in their houses and pray to be saved only venturing outside to attend church before hiding away from the world again to protect themselves from we heathen's terrible influence. Open the curtains - time to shine.

On the subject of candles I will entertain you with a poem. Let me set the scene. I'm in Florence with a small school party, we are on a writing week with world famous poet Carol Anne Duffy and author Jackie Kay. We are in the Duomo, if you haven't been - go. Miss Duffy sets us a writing task (I hate writing tasks) she says 'pick an object in the duomo and write a poem about it, you have an hour'. I hate forced poetry so naturally I spent 58 minutes actually enjoying looking around the cathedral and quickly throw together my poem before joining the group to 'share'. Carol Anne picked someone to read, they had chosen one of the statues - it was all about how the statue looked down on the people from overhead... blah blah blah. unfortunately for me Carol Anne already knew was a bit a cocky shit and decided that it would be best if I shared my poem too, she probably wasn't expecting what she got.

La Candella (thats italian ya know!)

Twinkle twinkle little candle,
You're so hot, too hot to handle
Next to you all things move slow-mo,
Twinkle twinkle in the Duomo.

Until next time, let's hope it's not another month,...